We are all familiar with situations when we start to feel restless during conversation with someone.
There can be a number of reasons for that, including our emotional conditions, our ways of communicating.
Sometimes these are deeper problems at the level of personality, but whatever causes unease during the conversation, we can say that most people do not know how to solve this problem without causing even bigger discomfort – both for yourself and for the other interlocutor.
What brings most of us into an unpleasant situation during the conversation?
These are usually similar things to which some people are prone:
- to continue to talk after shared enough information
- begin to talk about the details that we do not want to know;
- change the topic of the conversation.
And how most of us feel about it?
Also similar to most: with unrest, nervousness, feeling of disrespect of our time and personality...
If we do not react timely, we will start feeling angry.
We can always interrupt another person in an easy way
What probably comes to mind to many of us is to simply say: “Hey, I cannot listen to you anymore.”
It would be most fair and honest thing we can say. But it would not be understood the right way.
That would sound too harsh and hurt the feelings of another person, and neither we would feel good after that.
We can endure
We all know that this is a dead end.
Next time, the collocutor will behave in the same way and we will feel guilty because we did not made him clear that conversation was not pleasant to us.
We can politely interrupt a conversation
Ask interlocutor about something that is important to him, in a way that requires clear and concise answer: “How is your daughter fit in a new city? I know she enrolled college.”
This way you will let them know that you are interested for their life, but at the same time you will interrupt their stream of thoughts, and after the response, you will be able to politely end the conversation: “I'm glad all is well/good, I hope we will talk (or see each other) again soon.”
We can give subtle signs
We usually use body language to give subtle hints:
- impatiently looking at the watch
- looking around as if expecting someone
- hopping at the spot
- step back to indicate that the next moment we might as well turn and walk away, as to make the interlocutor end up the conversation.
What if it fails?
- “I really have to go now. It was very nice seeing (hearing from) you.”
- “Conversation with you is truly pleasant, but I know you have a lot of duties and I do not want to detain you.
Call me sometimes, to have lunch together and talk some more.”
- “I think we have touched all the important issues, and now I have to hurry to finish other tasks.“
It is important to remember
People have various problems.
Some are lonely. Some are overloaded with life situations.
Some simply talk too much – it's their way of discharging energy.
Do not blame them for that, but at the same time do not expose yourself to unnecessary effort because doing so, you will not solve their problems, and you will make your own life and communication more difficult.