A conflict is an incompatibility, a kind of contradiction. The conflict arises when two people cannot agree over something, whether it comes to personal or business relationships.
When we already are in conflict with someone, it means that we have previously passed through several stages in our feelings and we cannot back out anymore.
1. What can we do in these situations?
When the conflict has already begun, we can try to overcome it in several ways. Let us take an example of a situation that can lead to permanent conflicts: being late.
1) Expose your opinion and feelings.
You can say: “I think it is not fair that you are often late, and it makes me feel angry.”
2) Describe how you experience the situation.
“I'm often waiting for you, looking at the clock, wondering how much longer I will have to wait, that is: waste my time.”
3) Show an interest in the situation from the perspective of interlocutor.
“I believe that there is a reason why you are often late. Will you tell me what this is about? I would like to understand.”
4) Proposing and/or seeking compromise.
"Now I better understand your perspective, and I hope I have clarified mine. Can we find a compromise? I do not want to wait and to feel angry. Can you make an effort to be accurate? If not, please give your suggestion, so we will make a compromise about future meetings."
2. The base for resolving conflicts is in communication.
You have to talk. If you respond with silence, you have to know that it is aggressive as well and nobody will understand you. Communication should be true and sincere. If you try it this way, you should avoid the following:
1) Asking the question: who started it first?
It is not the most important issue and can only be annoying. The most important thing is that the conflict exists and you won’t solve it if you identify who started it.
What are you achieving that way? You just eject energy and tension that overwhelm you. Shouting impedes possibility of a conversation.
3) Being passively aggressive.
If you just remain silent and sulk, you might achieve success, but only short-term.
3. Conflicts are often perceived as a battle in which someone must win.
A certain dynamics often develops within conflicts, which then hinders or even completely excludes the application of the agreed rules. Do not focus on leaving the quarrel as a winner, but rather look for the basic reason for emerging of the conflict.
4. Conflicts at work are often difficult to avoid.
The business environment is very specific: the people are dedicated to what they are doing, exchange of ideas is intense, and the debates and disagreements are very common. The conflict should be resolved as soon as it appears. Never defer your problem solving. Over time, the situation will only become worse, and possible solution more complicated.
5. Be the conciliator!
If you find yourself in a situation in which two people close to you are in conflict, and this affects you, you can try to help them. You need to be neutral, and with calm, but resolute suggestions impact on both persons to get closer to each other – by shared understanding.
Take out of the best from conflicts
Conflicts generally mean that people care enough to defend their opinion. We should learn how to use their positive aspects and, at the same time, preserve good interpersonal relationships.
Therefore, if you are already arguing – make a conflict useful. Be creative, open, and try to find a common interest with the opposite side. The solution with which all will be happy surely exists, you just have to find it.